Entry 65: Android Experiment

I decided that I wanted a new phone, maybe not such a great idea seeing as how I don't have a job right now, but nonetheless I wanted a new phone. I was debating between the iPhone as usual and the new Motorola Cliq, on T-mobile. I decided to go with the Cliq after much internal debate.

I like the motorola hardware quite a lot. It feel solid. The screen is crisp and the slide out qwerty is easy to use. I also like the D-pad. The hardware drawbacks are the position of the lock button. It is on the side and I feel that it would be much easier to push if it were on the top to avoid the keyboard from trying to slide out and accident screen touches.

Android on the other hand is not so solid. While the OS does function and is stable, it isn't very polished. The UI is heavy with menus and not organized as intuitively as I think it should be for a consumer level OS. The Cliq is running Android 1.5. The Droid on Verizon was released with Android 2.0. No word from Moto if they are going to bring 2.0 to the Cliq.

The nice things about Android is being able to run apps in the background. I really love that.

Overall, I like the Cliq, but I do not love it. I'll keep it for a while, but eventually I think I will make the switch to the iPhone.

Read More......

Entry 64: Negative never felt so positive

I had an HIV test today. Waiting for the results always makes me anxious. Results are: negative. As I was expecting.

Read More......

Entry 63: Kindness of Strangers

I started writing the entry several weeks ago and am just now finishing it up mostly because of some interesting developments in the story...

Since I have been unemployed I have been taking the time to center myself and my life. A great thing to do. As part of said centering I have been traveling down to San Diego quite often. All said I will have gone down 5 times this summer. On my 4th trip down I was alone and that was a first.

I was planning on sleeping in my car the entire trip and eating out of an ice chest because um well I'm unemployed and I have limited funds. The first full day I am there I hit the beach to achieve my primary goal of relaxing. The day was less than stellar for a beach outing, but I didn't give a damn. My time there was limited and I had nothing else to do. Because the cloud cover and general cool ness I hiked all the way down the cliffs without my sunscreen. I had brought an umbrella so I figured I would be fine just using that and keeping out of the sun. By this time I had a great base tan.

I site up my site and was having a great time. I was completely relaxed. I was completely lost in my surroundings thinking of nothing else. I was centered. I was happy. 3 hours later the sun decided to make an appearance and I got worried about not having sun screen. It was time to make the hike back up to the top of the cliffs and get the sun screen. Fine. I can do it even though it was going to be a total bitch.

Once I had walked down the long stretch of black and white sand beach I reached the cliffs and as I looked up I see a cute guy taking his last big step off the sandstone crags. He was too cute not to notice. I have never been one to be discrete with my stares and I wasn't about to start now. Apparently he noticed me too and, to my shock, he was interested. While I have no qualms about looking and I am much too shy to ever talk to a guy in that type of situation. As we passed each other he kept looking at me. After what seemed like an awkwardly long amount of time. I make the first move and waved. He waved back and long story short he set up his beach towel next to mine while I went back up to get the sun screen. (I asked him if he had some, but he didn't, just oil.)

We talked off and on for the next several hours, but nothing really serious. He was a popular guy on the beach and I didn't want to be like a puppy dog following him around and hanging on his every word. As the day wound down and the sun began to set a chill came over me and I decided to leave. As I was packing up he started talking to me again and he wanted to meet up later on in the evening. I wasn't quick to agree to anything, but we hiked up to our cars and exchanged numbers.

WIth him being as cute as he was I was not about to just throw myself at him. While I was flattered he seemed interested in me, him being so good looking some kind of a turn off. I am sure he was able to get anybody he wanted whenever he wanted them. Why should I be his latest conquest? I am better than that. I am better than a one night stand and the latest notch on his bed post. That was steeled in my mind I would not meet up with him if all he wanted was sex. Me being there alone made me much more interested in having dinner and conversation. Was that asking so much? I didn't think so.

I SMS text him a while later and asked him if he wanted dinner. I received no reply. OK, hat was it, he was just a player. His reputation preceded him. I had correctly sized him up while we were on the beach. Add to that he willingly told me he was a professional go-go boy and was working that night at a local club before heading back to Orange County directly. I also knew he had a room at a local hotel hear Hillcrest and if he was going back to OC directly after work then the room would be empty. I was planning on using my trunk as my bed, but that seemed stupid to do if there was going to be a perfectly good bed unused at the hotel. Maybe I am not better than a notch on a bedpost, at least if we are both going to get something out of it.

FInally, he replied and after texting back and fourth a few time it was decided that I would meet up with him at his room for sex. Yup, just sex, no dinner, no conversation. On well, there goes my morals. But I had decided that his was a rare occurrence and I was on vacation so I was allowed to do thing out of character.

I'm not gonna front...The sex was actually really great. He had a very nice cock--good size and girth and not too much to handle. It lasted about 30 minutes too so that was pretty nice. It was some of the best sex I had in a long time so I was happy about the whole thing. We were safe of course. After cleaning up we started to talk and he still had some time before he had to go to the club so, in usual gay back-asswards fashion we went to et some dinner and talk. He turns out to be a nice guy and I again enjoy my time with him. Then it happened, exactly what I was hoping, but not going to outright ask for. The keys to his room. He said he wasn't going to be using the room and since I didn't have a place to stay I should just stay there. Perfect.

OK so this is where the title of this post comes it. "The Kindness Of Strangers" Because of him I was able to access the internet and plan some things for the following day and ended up meeting a great guy that I like and talk about in Entry 64: Penis Power. Funny how things work out. Random events get tied together in completely unexpected ways and work out.

*****************
OK so this is the new detail I just found out about, the guy who gave me his hotel room keys...He is a porn star!! Oh my god. It is kinda exciting even more so now. I only found out my chance. I was cruising through the online porn sites and I see his face. In shock I did some research and yup, it's him. Dominik Rider and I fucked! HA!

Read More......

Entry 64: Penis Power

I publicly wouldn't admit it, the size of a man's penis does matter. Case in point. While I have never really talked about me dating anybody in particular on this blog since Mark's death I had been seeing a guy for a while. Over a year. He is a great person and we have a lot in common. It is very caring and really likes me, but something was missing for me and it was simply the sex. There is no polite way to say it, the sex was awful.

Most of time in the middle of fucking I would just want to end it. End the sex, end seeing him, end it all. Ugh. It was a terrible feeling to have go through my mind and I felt terrible for thinking it. I would feel guilty. Talking about it wasn't easy either, but I did my best. Nothing worked though. I think by the time I maned up and said something it was too late. The handwriting was on the wall and there was no going back. I had lost romantic interest.

I had tried to break it off with him several times, but feelings of guilt, feelings of pettiness and my feeling sorry for the guy kept it from sticking. Several weeks ago it finally did stick.

A few weeks ago I was visiting San Diego alone. On the beach I met a guy and since I was just visiting SD I didn't want it to become anything more than just a friendship. Flash forward several hours and we were making out on his couch. I think to myself, "Okay, so I'll stop things with making out." No. We go further. I reach down to his crotch and wow, yeah, I am impressed and become much less interested in keeping things just a friends. I wanted his cock. I wanted it in my hand, my mouth, my ass. I think, "Wait." Stop at the mouth. Moving to the ass in the first night is too fast. We ended up spending several days together and had a great time.

What is it about a nice cock that drives gay men (and women crazy)? Is it power, pleasure or both or something entirely different?

I have been coming down to SD regularly for the past several weeks now. I don't know why because it doesn't really make much sense. I live nearly 500 miles away. It's an 8 hours drive. I like spending time with him, but that's not it. I have plenty of friends in southern California that I don't drive down to see on a near weekly basis. I hate to admit that it is the power his penis has over me that keeps me interested.

Read More......

Entry 62: Into the Autumn

Wow, the summer has just flown by and now it is fall. I am in San Diego for the next few days. I'll update this entry when i have some down time. For now I need to pack up and get on my mary way.

Read More......

Entry 61: Happy Bastille Day!

Happy Bastille! I am contemplating going to San Francisco to see some of the festivities. If I go I'll update this entry on the day's events. Yay!

Read More......

Entry 60: Eleventh Dimension & M-Theory

If we are the product of the collision of 2 brains in the 11th dimension and matter is collected at the points where the brains collided & gravity is leaking into our universe from the 11th dimension, maybe the reason some black holes are active & some are not is because the colliding brains are still in contact at some points and not in others. Maybe if you were to fall into a black hole you could manipulate other dimensions, such as the 4th and travel forwards & backwards in time. Maybe you could move from our universe to a parallel universe much like our own, but in some ways different-- aka, the 1990s TV show "Sliders" staring Jerry O'Connell. Maybe you could move just far enough away of our universe without completely leaving it & just close enough to another universe without completely entering it causing you to be undetectable in either universe. Maybe this is what happens to people after they die & before they are ready to move to heaven

Read More......